Tuk Tuk

Thailand, Bangkok especially, is a fools errand.

Luckily for you I am a fool! 

Let me start by saying I loved Thailand! So much to explore so little time. And so many weird weird things. But let me talk about their prices. In Thailand, the grand majority of places really like to rip off over privileged 'farangs' (the local word for foreigners). But since in comparison to our own expensive cultures, everything is already cheap that we don't notice that the Thai person two seats over is paying perhaps half of what we are. For those who are wondering how cheap is cheap, a meal on Khaosan Road ( the popular farang district of the town) costs about 30 Bhat. A Bhat is roughly equivalent to a third of a yen. so what is a 30 Bhat meal might be 90 yen or so. Roughly a dollar. 

What's a gal to do?

Bargain. You have to bargain anything and everything, especially when the goods are not so legitimate. You might think but wait its so cheap why not just give them the price they ask. If you have the coin and the conscious to do it, then do it, but if you don't want to be walked all over or possibly robbed ( if you don't bargain prices it shows you have money which some people are on the lookout for). I bargained everything...except food... I didn't want them to spit in it or anything!

But one of the key things you need to bargain are the tuk-tuks. 

A tuk-tuk is a device that is much like a motorized rickshaw. It is like a Vespa with a back wagon for people to sit. People modified their scooters when they figured out they can make a quick buck by people looking to beat the heat from walking and take a alternative method. These are not taxis per se. Thailand has those too. Some of these tuk-tuks are fanciful with flashing lights, colors, and flowers. Most have a general rule of an overhead covering and cushioned seating for between 2-4 seating. They are a fun thing to take, but not the most cost efficient way of travel. That would be walking. 

In order to take one of these, a price must be negotiated first. A standard con-rate is 100Bhat. If you are fool enough to take that then shame on you. Metered taxis start at 35Bhat and will likely get you there quicker and way cheaper and more importantly air conditioned. You need to negotiate a rate that is lower. Try for 30 and don't go too much higher. You will notice that only foreigners take these devices. Locals know better. 

So now you have negotiated a rate, now what?

Only go where you want to go. Yes that sounds dumb, but tuk-tuks are notorious for taking you on detours where they get commission for customers that a particular place receives. Such places often include gem shops and tailored suit stores, or even restaurants. No you don't want to go there, and no you will not likely buy anything (unless you are a huge sucker for things), so it is really just a waste of time, money, and gas. The tuk-tuk often will take you to where you want to go after one or possibly more of these detours...that is if they don't leave you there (if you paid first)! If the driver is particularly ridiculous and takes you to more than one place, just get out and walk away and refuse to pay. You can find other transportation for cheaper. 

A personal experience involved a moped-taxi service who kept trying to interest me in a boxing fight. Thai boxing is decently renowned. I was on my way to a showing of a movie and agreed that I would go see the boxing the next night. If you have to ask if I went...

Lastly, one of the more clever ways the tuk-tuk drivers try to fool you ( which nearly worked in my case) is by telling you something is closed. On that particular day, I was on my way to the Grand Palace and the consequent golden Buddha temple. I was trying to negotiate with an unoccupied tuk-tuk or two, when one told me that it was closed until the afternoon, but that he could take me on a day trip and we will arrive there in the afternoon (in other words he would take me to a lovely gem store or five). Well the walk was 2-3 kilometers and I decided what the hell I would walk and if it was closed there are other attractions nearby I could visit. As I was walking I noticed that the streets were in fact closed. I had several moments pause over this and contemplated what the man said. Nevertheless my original plan stuck. And I carried on. Not long after a woman approached me, speaking English as any Thai person would to a farang in Thailand, telling me that the temple was closed. I was even more inclined to believe her. But another warning to the wayward traveler is of walking tour guide. They may take you to a few nice places and then into an ally where they will relieve you of your belongings. Please note that this is not true for the majority of Thai people, and indeed she looked like a well-wishing woman, but as a female backpacker, I take most precautions. And carried on. About a kilometer later I discovered that the temple and palace were in fact open. However, there was a procession that day for the Thai princess who died one year to the day earlier, which was the cause of the blocked roads. 

In a nutshell

• bargain your prices
• pay after your trip
• be wary of commissioned side-trips
• and don't trust them if they tell you it's closed
• and some extra special advice of: try to get a tuk-tuk that has just deposited people or one that is already on the go. Just wave it down. They typically will negotiate better than someone just bumming around with their tuk-tuk parked.